Imagine an attractive white woman who recently came to a Chinese city. She will find Chinese dating culture surprising, including special attention from locals. Wherever you go, you will always feel a few surprised looks. In Chinese culture, you will feel you can stop cars only by the power of your presence.
In China, the male population is much larger than the female population: according to statistics, Chinese men are 30 million more than women. Understandably, this influenced Chinese dating etiquette and culture. It is believed it is difficult for men to find a couple, much less to get married.
The woman traditionally occupied a special place in Chinese culture. A Chinese man will try to please the lady he likes as much as possible. This involves paying for lunches, shopping, and entertainment on his part. Therefore, it is normal practice in Chinese relationship culture to invite ladies to very expensive restaurants immediately after meeting them.
China also has a developed hook-up culture. And here, it all depends on how far you are ready to go. Of course, you should not give up everything local ladies offer because participation in a friendly dinner does not guarantee intimate relationships yet. As a rule, girls from China are extremely interested in relationships with foreigners.
Sex is not something forbidden that can cause shame or fear. This is one of the means of “pleasure” and “good life” that China strives for so much.
Marriage Tradition and Courtesan Tradition
Marriage and family in Chinese relationships and culture are important. They are some of the cornerstones on which Chinese society and culture are built. Marriage is frequently planned in youth in Chinese dating culture. In addition, the dating culture in China presupposes that marriage is an important step towards social success.
Marriage is concluded as a contract between two families and has certain rules. Below are some ideas about “successful marriage”, which are common in modern Chinese culture:
- According to the Chinese dating culture, marriage should be concluded at a young age. The best age to get married for men in the local culture is 28-30 years, for women – 26-28 years. At the same time, the man should be older than the woman, and the age difference should be insignificant.
- According to Chinese dating traditions, a man “pays” for his marriage. As a rule, families discuss property issues before marriage. At the same time, the groom should be ready to provide his family with a decent life, including housing, a car, and related financial capabilities: that’s what culture says.
- There is a “marriage market,” which means parents agree on children’s marriage. This happens through mutual acquaintances, agencies, and directly in public places, such as in the park.
- It is important to conclude a marriage contract in a timely manner, even contrary to feelings. That is, if the age is right and you haven’t found a partner yet, you should make an effort to arrange a marriage.
Those who did not manage to get married in China are called “unnecessary women” or “unnecessary men.”
In fact, it is becoming increasingly difficult to arrange marriage because not every Chinese has the necessary resources to do so. Chinese media sometimes write about the funds spent on gifts for Chinese women and about the refusals received. And it still often happens that the girl’s family decides not to accept her husband, despite mutual feelings.
Does this mean that foreign women have a higher chance of marriage in this area? Objectively, yes. But usually, the following factors have an advantage:
- Youth. Getting married in China after 30 years is becoming more and more difficult.
- Communication between families. According to Chinese dating rules, the status of the bride’s parents plays an important role.
- Adoption of specific Chinese traditions of communication with the family (like gifts, joint lunches, visits to parents on traditional Chinese holidays), raising children, etc.
Traditionally, Chinese dating culture involves living together until death. Divorce is not welcome in society. Therefore, it often happens that a man and a woman continue to live together solely because of children and the image of their family.
However, another one of the Chinese dating customs is associated with courtesans. Having an illegitimate passion in this area has been accepted since ancient times. The man could even get permission from his wife for his mistress, and thus, she seemed to be accepted into the family.
Now it is legally forbidden to have a second wife in this country. However, in large cities, there are whole so-called “courtesan quarters.”
Besides, men in this area tend to spend a lot of money on their kept women. As a rule, these are very young girls who have just arrived in a big city and know how to take care of their appearance. They get penthouses, expensive clothes, cosmetics, and other benefits from their influential friend. However, the life of young princesses is not too long: the “career” of courtesans lasts a maximum of 2-3 years, and then their place is taken by new ones.
Love Is a Rarity Worth Your Dreams
Can foreign women become more than just entertainment for one of the wealthy locals? And can they avoid the traps of traditional marriage?
On this occasion, one instructive Chinese story can be told. One day, an adviser who sought to become an elder saw a strange dream. It was raining outside, and he put on a raincoat and took an umbrella with him. Then he rode a bicycle on the Great Wall of China. And in the evening he met a beautiful young girl.
He told a friend about his dream and asked what it meant. A friend said that all this was stupid; the adviser was upset and ended up in the hospital. Another friend visited him there. He told him about his dream again. This friend said that there were a lot of good things worthy of attention in his dream. After that, the adviser quickly recovered and was elected elder.
This is a story about how dreams come true if you believe in them. It is shared by both locals and foreigners coming to China.
No matter how personal relationships develop, this experience will help you learn the reality and draw appropriate conclusions.
Of course, strong and real relationships should be built on personal communication, joys, and care. This formula may have different sides, but it is effective in each country. And in particular, in China.
Dating in China: Traditions to Pay Attention To
We have gathered some of the most noticeable traditions of local Chinese women dating culture. Here they are.
Only Serious Relationship
There is no casual dating; Chinese dating means marriage in the future. Here people are interested in serious dating and making their relationship last. Local women and men do not have one-night stands or practice open relationships. After a couple of months of dating, they get married and start a family. Some people will not even have sex before marriage.
Pragmatic Purposes
In this area, singles have pragmatic purposes when they look for partners. For example, a woman would not date a man who does not have a house or car. A man will unlikely date a woman who has no wish to build a career.
People Start Dating After 20
In Chinese dating culture, girls and boys start dating after graduation. Some of them start looking for dating partners after finding a job and becoming independent. These people are known as organized and mature, so they start their love life after reaching 20.
Parental Involvement
Parents have always played a decisive role in marriage in many countries today. Even a century ago, marriages were mainly decided by parents in China. Moreover, many customs might have seemed strange to a current observer. In general, the two spouses did not meet before the wedding day. It also happened that a little girl was “bought” to be raised and trained in her future husband’s family (she was taught to behave well and run her home).
Dating Chinese Woman: Recommendations
If you want to find a Chinese girlfriend, you should know that they are very conservative. They stick to the tradition taught to them as adults. It takes a lot to conquer the heart of a local hottie.
Here are some simple tips that will help you flirt with Chinese girls.
Dress Properly for Dates
Local ladies are known for their light porcelain skin and neat appearance. You are not expected to appear on a date like you just got out of a coma. Take a shower and come as neatly as possible. In general, girls prefer hygienic and tidy men.
Arrive Early
Coming to date five minutes earlier is fine, but something earlier could give her the impression that you are too eager. In addition, no lady wants to be kept waiting; therefore, meet her at the time you both agreed on.
The Gifts
Women residing in this area love gifts and want to be pampered. Surprise your lady with gifts from time to time. It doesn’t have to be expensive; even a flower can make her feel unique. It also makes you a true gentleman. Remember that these hotties are conservative and are used to being looked after by men.
Pay the Bills
Traditionally, men pay the bills for a date. If you go out with Chinese women who are both girly and not independent, be ready to pay the bills. However, do not stop them if they insist on dividing them with you.
If you can apply at least one piece of advice about dating a Chinese girl, your chances of success will be much higher.
FAQ
How Do Chinese Ladies Usually Tease and Flirt?
When local hotties fall in love with someone, they first want to write a message about their love. They would not write about it without reason. They always come up with some excuses to write.
Girls ask about homework, about the weather for tomorrow, etc. Therefore, if a hottie asks you something like that, then there is a chance that she has special feelings for you.
What Are the Differences Between Chinese Dating Culture and American Dating Culture?
There are several main differences. The first one is that people never date longer than a year before marriage in China. Then, people in this area need parents’ approval (unlike in America). They are less private than Americans when it comes to relationships.
What Are the Pros and Cons of Dating a Chinese Girl?
There are much more pros than cons. First of all, local ladies are extremely beautiful and smart. They stay young for years. Moreover, they willingly utilize dating sites, which makes it easier for foreigners to find them. The only disadvantage of such a relationship is the need to get really close to her family. But it can also be called an advantage, so the choice is yours.
